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I am sure you are jealous of that pillow… A nice messy hump while I get lost watching some porn
I want you to watch porn, sniff your party favors and hump your pillow! Losers like you who are addicted to porn don’t deserve to jerk off like real men. No. I want you to take your porn addiction to the next level. You can never fuck like the men in porn do. All you can do is stay at home and hump your pillow and further your porn addiction. You’re going to become so addicted to this that you’re not going to want to jerk to porn anymore. Become the brainless pillow humping porn addict you were born to be.
You’re such a worthless loser, you can’t even masturbate like a normal guy. You don’t jerk off – you hump your mattress or a pillow like a complete weirdo. Not only do you look completely ridiculous and pathetic while you’re grinding your dick into your bed, you’ve ruined your dick in the process! All of these years of pillow humping took their toll and now your boner is weak, soft and useless. You couldn’t fuck a real woman if you tried!
It’s probably for the best – no woman wants a loser like you anyway. Go ahead and fuck your pillow girlfriend like a dirty loser freak. There’s no hope for you now, you’ll be a pillow humper forever!
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