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Well, technically, we can. If we’re not too drunk, even a butterfly kiss can get us off. But since it’s only been a couple of minutes, and we don’t want to embarrass ourselves, we shouldn’t shoot one off yet. Unfortunately, there’s just something about missionary that makes it super easy to finish. Maybe it’s gravity? Or that fact that your boobs are right in our line of sight? It’s probably both.
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Cuddling fucking blows. It’s just my strong opinion. Exhibit A: It’ll never not result in chronic heat stroke and perpetual irritation, which are literally the same qualities as a third degree burn. But once your boobs come into play, there is so much more to cuddling than meets the eye. This hormone called oxytocin gets triggered during a hug or an orgasm, so in order to maximize the full effect, try pulling him toward you during missionary so your nipples lightly graze his chest. Or while you’re on top, have him sit up and press your breasts into his chest. I realize this doesn’t sound as pleasing as I’d hoped, but I mostly realized this when my boyfriend’s only response after I tried this move was “stop being weird”. But whatever, I love me a good chase.
Nipples are great and all, but they can also tend to steal the spotlight, like that hoe on the cheer squad who always danced like she was on a fucking pole. Like, simmer down for a sec and let others have their moment, TIFFANY. Since the focus is generally always on the nipples, you probably didn’t know that one of the most sensitive spots on your boobs is slightly above the areola. In order to do this, he’ll need to go full 10-and-2 on your tits like he’s back in high school learning how to drive, except for your sake hopefully he’s still also not learning a woman’s basic anatomy. While in missionary, or whatever reachable position, he can even use his tongue to lick circles around the area, or if you wanna go all 10th grade Cosmo, use ice cubes and shit.
That starts young: boys went further faster with me than my friends. Maybe my breasts turned them on more, but I do think men associate big breasts with porn and make the association that if porn stars have big breasts, girls in real life with big boobs must be wannabe porn stars and love sex.
