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How do lesbians have sex? Lesbians and the people who have sex with lesbians or who consider themselves lesbian-adjacent have sex in so many different ways, and believe it or not, we’re up to quite a bit more than just scissoring. So we went ahead and asked over 13k+ queer women, “which of these activities has been a regular part of your sex life within the last year?” and now we’ve got the answers!
You can do a lot with your finger besides inserting it all the way into an asshole. While 31% of our survey-takers involve external anal play in how they have lesbian sex, 20% of lesbians also indicated that they regularly participated in “rimming” (oral anal play), aka .
Many people might have a picture in their head of what sex looks like between two people with vulvas, but the truth is, it’s often a beautiful, continuous mix of different acts. It’s not just mutual oral sex, or strap-on sex, or—as lesbian porn might have you believe—scissoring. If you’re having sex with someone new, no matter their gender or genitalia, Wright suggests staying open to how the experience could evolve, whether that means , , touching, kissing, or . “Create that container for physical exploration without this thought process of, ‘What sex acts are we going to do?’” she says.
Some are embarrassed about how vaginas can smell and taste weird. So use affirming words to assure her. Tell her how beautiful she is from that angle, how heavenly you feel being down there. Words have power, and making love isn’t any different. Whether this is your first time having lesbian sex or your first time having sex, period, the decision to have sex with a woman is a big step in your sexual journey.
However, if you’re not concerned about your health or safety and if you feel that your boundaries are being respected, what you’re feeling is probably just some normal nerves. Talking to your partner or with someone close to you about how you’re feeling can help relieve your anxiety. You’ll probably find that they feel the same way or have been through something similar. Just make sure that you are taking the time to listen to yourself and to get your head straight about your feelings before you have sex.













